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Viewing entries tagged with 'vulnerability'

NZ Government crackdown on family violence – beating up on the beaten?

Posted by Philip on 13 September 2016, 10:57 am in , , ,

John Key has just announced an "overhaul of the family violence prevention system."

If it was a Labour government I'd be thinking, "About time." Under National, though, I fear it may be an exercise in bullying families in low socio-economic circumstances, rather than looking at the systemic oppression that often contributes to family violence.

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Kintsugi and the art of being uniquely flawed

Posted by Philip on 10 July 2016, 9:43 am in , , , ,

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. (Wikipedia)

As a philosophy kintsugi can be seen to have similarities to the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, an embracing of the flawed or imperfect. Japanese aesthetics values marks of wear by the use of an object. This can be seen as a rationale for keeping an object around even after it has broken and as a justification of kintsugi itself, highlighting the cracks and repairs as simply an event in the life of an object rather than allowing its service to end at the time of its damage or breakage.

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Grappling with the alone (all-one)

Posted by Philip on 22 December 2015, 12:43 pm in , , , , , , , , ,

This time of year is difficult for me. To say I dread it is an over-statement, but I do steel myself for it and it's an exercise in endurance getting through it.

I struggle with being alone. I'm not lonely though, don't get me wrong. And I don't want to surround myself with people.

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Beyond apology and forgiveness

Posted by Philip on 27 October 2015, 4:51 pm in , , , , , , , ,

If there's one thing you can seldom plan for, it's conflict. Unless you're purposely pushing for an emotional rupture, or you're entering a meltdown situation with prior warning, conflict usually blind-sides you.

It's one of those, "you think one thing's going to happen and something else does" moments, about which Kathryn Schulz muses

All the hindsight in the world doesn't help. It's been said or done, can't be unsaid or be undone because, damnit, linear time travel hasn't been invented yet. Parallel time travel — well that's another post.

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Will David Cunliffe's male shame change domestic violence?

Posted by Philip on 13 July 2014, 11:45 am in , , , , , ,

David CunliffeThere's been a lot of talk, both for and against, David Cunliffe's recent public confession that he is sorry to be a man. While I admire his intent, I think his choice of words let him down and weakened his message, for several reasons.

Firstly, personalising the message made it all about him and took the focus off women, for whom he was trying to advocate. He would have come across more genuinely had he apologised, on behalf of men, for the violence and abuse women endure from men.

Secondly, Cunliffe's apology for who he is — a man — indicates shame. Researcher Brené Brown is very clear, in her discourse on shame, that shame inhibits change. You simply cannot change your behaviour if you feel bad about who you are. The antidote for shame is the admission of vulnerability. Men, in particular, are nurtured to be invulnerable — which of course they aren't — and so many if not most men feel shame about their vulnerability.

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Soul work

Posted by Philip on 8 May 2014, 1:36 pm in , , , , , , , ,

flower eyeYesterday I ran a session on diversity with a group of facilitators. My aim was to work with them around their understanding of diversity but also to highlight the power of facilitation to elicit diversity.

I described the session in this way:

Diversity beyond labels

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My 17,000 pageviews of 2013

Posted by Philip on 13 December 2013, 2:23 pm in , , , , , , , ,

Today is officially my last day of work until February so I thought I'd look back through my five most popular posts of the year.

5. Understanding disability from a place of empathy

The fifth most read post on my blog in 2013 was one I actually wrote way back in February 2012, where I wanted to encourage, in the disability social change space, empathy in place of sympathy. When considering the difference between empathy (understanding) and sympathy (pity), I got thinking about the astounding amount of sympathy or pity people display about the experience of disability.

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Health Minister needs to ensure quality of residential facilities: Green Party

Posted by Philip on 9 May 2013, 12:00 pm in , , , , , , ,

Another example of the National Party's complete disregard for a civil society. Shame on you Tony Ryall. Such a dishonourable response.

Big ups to Kevin Hague for taking a stand.

GREEN PARTY MEDIA RELEASE

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Lack of outrage...but they're only disabled and vulnerable

Posted by Philip on 6 May 2013, 6:26 pm in , , , , , , ,

It's hard to understand that the allegations against Parklands, a residential facility in Pukekawa, south of Auckland, run by Linnaire and Neil Joslin for over a decade, have attracted such little public outrage.

The Joslins have probably received hundreds of millions of public money to allegedly abuse hundreds of disabled young people and adults.

Child Youth and Family have been referring youth-at-risk to the Ministry of Health Disability Support Services funded facility. The facility has been a dumping ground for disabled people too. 

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