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Viewing entries tagged with 'trust'

The courage (and opportunity) to not know

Posted by Philip on 29 May 2017, 3:25 pm in , , , , , , , ,

When it comes to the future, we're pretty conditioned to expect certainty. Whether it's what we're going to say next, what's happening tomorrow, what the outcome of a project is going to be, or what life will be like in five years time, we want to know beforehand. We crave certainty.

Expectations are the outcome of this need to know what's going to happen before it does — and anxiety about things not going to plan.

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Grappling with myself

Posted by Philip on 21 May 2017, 1:36 pm in , , , ,

Nearly two months after getting my new car, I'm still deeply uncomfortable about driving it. Partly this is because of the things that have gone wrong since I've had it — being unable to get out of it and, as recently as last Monday, not being able to get in.

However, I also feel nervous driving it. It's very different than my Mazda, which I've had for around 10 years. From memory I felt much more confident driving it when I first got it, but maybe I've just forgotten. 

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When will the world feel safe again?

Posted by Philip on 15 November 2016, 2:50 pm in , , , , , , ,

I don't know about you but, to me, the world doesn't feel very safe at the moment. In fact, it feels pretty bloody scary right now.

Maybe 'safe' isn't the right word — in Be. Leadership, Lesley and I ban a few words and 'safe' is one of them, because you can't develop and change if you need to feel safe all the time. And living in fear is a miserable existence.

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Beyond apology and forgiveness

Posted by Philip on 27 October 2015, 4:51 pm in , , , , , , , ,

If there's one thing you can seldom plan for, it's conflict. Unless you're purposely pushing for an emotional rupture, or you're entering a meltdown situation with prior warning, conflict usually blind-sides you.

It's one of those, "you think one thing's going to happen and something else does" moments, about which Kathryn Schulz muses

All the hindsight in the world doesn't help. It's been said or done, can't be unsaid or be undone because, damnit, linear time travel hasn't been invented yet. Parallel time travel — well that's another post.

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Should entrepreneurs close things down?

Posted by Philip on 9 May 2015, 11:37 am in , , , , ,

closed signThe easiest way to define an entrepreneur is "someone who starts things". I've been given the mantels of both creative and social entrepreneur (it's one of those things you are recognised for – you don't decide for yourself). Entrepreneurship might be explained as "start-up leadership".

So as a creative and social start-up leader, I've started lots of things – organisations, projects, websites – in the realm of creativity and social issues or change. Many have concluded of their own accord (projects, for instance, because they have a beginning, middle and end); and others I've walked intentfully away from (organisations where people have taken them in directions I've disagreed with, or I've realised I with my penchant and skills for starting things, need to be replaced by someone who can maintain and grow the entity).

In 2005 I started Diversityworks Trust Inc., the only start-up I have stayed with (as trustee and Executive Director) since its inception. I originally started the Trust to fundraise for Momentum'09, an international symposium on creative diversity. Due to the financial crash in 2008, we lost critical funding and had to downscale from the planned four-day event at SkyCity to one day in Royal Oak.

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Resignations & employment relationships — what gives?

Posted by Philip on 7 February 2015, 1:39 pm in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I quit! noteI’ve been reflecting on the complex dynamics of employment relationships — let’s call them ERs because of the acronym’s somewhat appropriate onomatopoeia — and what it means when an employee resigns without giving notice.

ERs are tricky things, without a doubt. They are usually initially awkward, in that most ERs begin with a stranger needing to get to know others — at a more than leisurely pace — at least well enough to work toward common goals and outcomes.

An ER, unlike most relationships, is a legal relationship. It shares a latent litigiousness with two other common types of relationship: that between a client/customer and supplier; and, ironically, a marriage. Like the former but unlike the latter, an ER involves an exchange of money — although, well…no, let’s not go there.

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The Vote, the police and the complexity of trust

Posted by Philip on 10 October 2013, 10:24 am in , , , , , ,

NZ Police crest and badgeOnce again I cringed my way through The Vote last night as the programme limped it's way through the moot, "Are the police losing our trust?" As usual, the moot was confusingly negative and could easily be misunderstood — "Do we trust the police?" would have ensured a more accurate outcome.

But what really bugged me was that the debate continually confused the police/justice system with the people who work within it. More disturbing though was that the notion of trust was never explored.

In her TED Talk (below), philosopher Onora O'Neill does a fine job at deconstructing simply the complexity of trust. She say trust is actually a combination of three things:

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The courage to choose death

Posted by Philip on 6 August 2013, 1:16 pm in , , , ,

This morning I received an email from Peter Taylor, whom I've known as an acquaintance through gay circles for many years, but got to know quite well in 2011 when he was a participant on the Be. Leadership programme, which I co-direct.

His bio on the Speakers NZ website reads, in part:

"...At the Barcelona Olympics, Peter was infected by a sand fly, transmitted by a parasite after patting a dog and the subsequent infection destroyed his bone marrow and attacked the internal organs. He has been told he would die four times and needs continual treatments of chemotherapy to manage the chronic illness ... He has received 870 doses of chemotherapy over the past fifteen years. He is also the only person in the world to have lived this long with this particular parasitic infection, visceral Leishmaniasis Donavanni."

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How to be authentic and congruent

Posted by Philip on 8 July 2013, 2:00 pm in , , , ,

Authenticity and congruency are important in all relationships of trust, but are crucial in roles of leadership. They allow you to be transparent because what you think and say are aligned.

Without good self-awareness it's hard to be sure that you are congruent on the inside and and coming across as authentic on the outside. Here is a quick and simple exercise I used in the weekend that effectively allows you to assess whether your inner and outer worlds are matching up.

  1. Divide a sheet of paper into four (two rows, two columns).
  2. Number the top two spaces 1 and 2 from left to right.
  3. Number the bottom two spaces 3 and 4 from left to right.
  4. Label Space 1: "Conversations I have with myself about myself".
  5. Label Space 2: "Conversations I have with myself about the world".
  6. Label Space 3: "Conversations I have with the world about myself".
  7. Label Space 4: "Conversations I have with the world about the world".

The top spaces represent your internal world or self-talk. This is where your reflection takes place.

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Why me?

Posted by Philip on 13 March 2012, 5:52 pm in , , , ,

When something bad happens to them, people ask, "Why me?" They never ask that when something good happens.

The answer to, "Why me?" is, "Because otherwise it would be someone else." And, if it's so bad, why would you wish it on someone else?

It seems to me a better question could be, "Why not me?" Because this question is also the answer to the first.

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