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Viewing entries tagged with 'marriage'

Sexuality and Diversity – Bending Rules and Breaking Duals | 7th Sexual Dysfunction Conference

Posted by Philip on 15 May 2016, 11:44 am in , , , , ,

Yesterday I presented at the 7th Multidisciplinary Sexual Dysfunction Conference, somewhat misnamed due to history — as organiser Nic Beets explained, it's become a lot less medicalised over the years. Now it attracts GPs, physiotherapists, counsellors, psychotherapists, sex therapists, sexual health promoters among others. This post summarises my sessions and includes points I neglected to cover.

By chance (or perhaps design on the part of the organisers) I spoke after listening to a presentation by Dr Russell Shuttleworth, Senior Lecturer at Deakin University, followed by a Q&A with Dr George Taleporos, Researcher, also at Deakin University, with whom I've been acquainted for nearly two decades. Their topic was Facilitated Sex for Adults with Disabilities. I pointed out the irony that George and I had been having this conversation for those 15-20 years and, from their presentation, it seems not much has changed.

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Social change: a case of two steps forward, three steps back?

Posted by Philip on 17 January 2014, 2:31 pm in , , , , ,

As part of the Auckland Pride Festival 2014, Rainbow Youth is holding "a Pride Art Auction and Intergenerational Panel." They are calling for art submissions themed around identity, which they say aligns "with the celebration of diverse identities that the Pride Festival focuses on."

Ironically this youth led event is called "Old, New, Borrowed, Blue."

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Well isn't gay just so cool now?

Posted by Philip on 19 August 2013, 12:17 pm in , ,

I’ve never purported to be much of a marriage fan. As NZ celebrates its liberation of gay marriage today, I'm finding it hard not to scoff at the hypocrisy of "middle NZ" deciding "gay" is cool, now that it can be "coupled" (pun intended) with "married".

Suddenly Tourism New Zealand is flying couples across the ditch, radio stations are shouting fabulous gay weddings. All in the hope of getting a bit of media and brand value out of this historic event?

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Equality for all, until death (or divorce) do us part

Posted on 18 April 2013, 11:28 am in , , , , ,

Over on Hard News Russell Brown talks eloquently, passionately and adultly about the passing last night of the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill. It's a great read. He actually watched the third reading of the Bill, as did many others he points out, and commended politicians on their unusual respect and good-faith leadership.

As I tweeted last night, I wanted the Bill to pass, not for marriage's but for equality's sake. I used to quip, back in my days as a comedian, that marriage was the cause of divorce and that, if marriage were banned, divorce rates were certain to decline. I still stand behind my logic.

While I'm happy that, in 2013, we can finally, as Russell says, complete "an arc that began with the torrid, sometimes terrible days leading up to homosexual law reform in 1986," I'm also a little disappointed. As a queer dude, it feels weird that we have bought into one of if not the most conservative, patriacal and mainstream traditions of society.

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"Child rights" used by women to reject marriage equality

Posted by Philip on 13 April 2013, 4:26 pm in , , ,

I'm cheerily watching the newly resurrected Back Benches on iSky — Wallace, Damien, I missed you guys — and I'm staggered that the two women on the panel — Tracey Martin, NZ First and Louise Upston, National — are opposed to marriage equality. The two blokes — Trevor Mallard, Labour and Peter Dunne, United Future — are fine with it.

What the?

Martin holds fast to her party line that the issue should go to referendum. But Upston wades into a quagmire of discrimination, implying that marriage equality somehow breaches the rights of children because it will change adoption laws.

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Of treaties, gay marriage, belonging and other fitting things

Posted by Philip on 6 February 2013, 11:32 am in , , ,

Many years ago I had an inkling that I didn't fit in. Nonetheless, for years after, I kept trying. The disabled community, the Youthline community, the gay community, even the comedian scene (it's not really a community) — in each I tried to find a common thread, a sense of belonging or, as Seth Godin might say, my tribe.

Alas, each time I threw myself with open arms into these groups — whom I thought would surely embrace me and with whom, in return, I would live happily ever after — I emerged feeling disappointed, rejected, irritated or just reluctantly affirmed: I didn't fit in.

Brené Brown has made an important distinction – in her work on shame, vulnerability and wholeheartedness –between fitting in and belonging. Fitting in, she says, is not belonging. Fitting in is changing yourself to be like the people with whom you want to feel a sense of belonging. True belonging, by contrast, is being accepted for who you are, fully and without exception, by that group of people.

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