DiversityNZ logo

Viewing entries tagged with 'confidence'

Confidence and humility – the dance of the balanced ego

Posted by Philip on 2 September 2016, 10:38 am in , , ,

Balancing confidence and humility in any relationship, be it personal or professional, is a real skill. The first step is to become aware of what the two are. Author of The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory, Françoise Simpère writes:

“Arrogance...is generally a cover for a chronic lack of self-confidence.To be specific, self-confidence is when one is aware of his or her qualities without falling victim to false modesty. Humility allows one to recognise quietly that even though he or she is a wonderful person, there may be qualities that he or she lacks. An individual with a balanced ego is fully aware of his or her own existence and does not need others to confirm it. He or she is interested in others because of who they are, and not because of a need to see him or herself as a reflection in their admiring eyes.”

Continue reading...

How to put the cuss in customer service

Posted by Philip on 9 August 2016, 4:00 pm in , , ,

If you want to lose customers and infuriate people, here are some ideas, based on my own, real-life, recent experiences with Parallel Imported, Pass the Parcel and Window Treatments. I won't be going back to any of them — I'd recommend you join me.


Continue reading...

Clever watch brings peace of mind and potential – made in NZ

Posted by Philip on 17 May 2015, 11:40 am in , , , , , ,

A few weeks ago at the Home and Community Health Association conference  I met some of the team behind CleverCare, a new service that connects an Android smart watch to a web interface and a 24-hour call centre.

CleverCare is the brain-child of Maria Johnston. As the website explains, "developing the Clevercare system was driven from a personal need for Maria to make a positive difference in the everyday life or her parents. She then found that her family’s problems were experienced by many and now, through Clevercare making lives better with independence and peace of mind can be achieved for many."

Designed for people with dementia, the Android watch runs a simple app and contains a GPS geolocator. The device is tracked via Google Maps in an online dashboard. Boundaries can be set to alert family, friends or support workers if someone wanders beyond a safe distance. Reminders can be pushed to the watch via the dashboard.

Continue reading...

To admire or not to admire

Posted by Philip on 10 December 2013, 3:29 pm in , , , , , , ,

Admiration is a funny thing. Full of questions, it seems to me.

  • Who to admire? What to admire?
  • Admire the person? Admire what they say or do? Both?
  • Oh, and is it ok to admire yourself?

What does admiration mean?

Continue reading...

Diversity — are you trying to get it right?

Posted by Philip on 12 November 2013, 4:04 pm in , , , , , , , , , , , ,


If you are, you're very likely to get it wrong.

Organisations that build cultures that require people to do the right thing in regards to culture, gender, sexuality, function (disability) etc, create behaviours governed by fear. People will avoid engagement in order to stay safe, because they'll be scared of getting it wrong.

Continue reading...

Speaking tips for non-speakers

Posted by Philip on 14 August 2013, 11:12 am in , , , ,

Recently someone I was working shared that she was working on a three minute speech for a competition and was nervous about blanking and forgetting what she was going to say. I told her how I prepare to speak from my experience doing comedy. Yesterday she emailed to say she'd done well and got into the finals. Here's what I told her:

  • When I started doing comedy I used to script my sets word-for-word. I would be terrified about forgetting my lines. This became a self-fulfilling prophesy as the anxiety made me more likely to forget. (Seth Godin says, "I define non-clinical anxiety as, 'experiencing failure in advance.' If you're busy enacting a future that hasn't happened yet, and amplifying the worst possible outcomes, it's no wonder it's difficult...")
  • Quite soon after realising this I stopped scripting my routines.
  • Instead I made bullet points about what I would say, usually between five and seven.
  • I would then study the bullet points and create an internal visual image of them because I have a visual memory — if I had an auditory memory I would have said them to myself, or I may have created an NLP anchor if a had a kinesthetic memory.
  • Now I only had to visualise the bullet points to keep track. What words I said didn't matter.
  • Rather than rehearsing I would imagine myself on stage delivering my set confidently and brilliantly! I'd visualise the audience laughing, giving me a standing ovation etc.

Most of my techniques are backed up by Pete Burdon and TJ Walker of Media Training NZ. In their e-book 1001 Ways to Wow the Media and Speaking Audiences, they say:

  • "A speech that READS well will sound HORRIBLE. Be conversational."
  • "Visualise your audience giving you a standing ovation."
  • "Right before you speak, visualise other speaking successes you have had."
  • "Right before you speak, visualise your speech being a stunning success."

They disagree with me about rehearsing:

Continue reading...

How balanced is your ego?

Posted by Philip on 21 November 2011, 12:20 pm in , , , ,

French relationship expert Françoise Simpère writes:

"The arrogance of megolomaniacs is generally a cover for a chronic lack of self-confidence. Self-confidence is when one is aware of his or her qualities without falling victim to false modesty, while humility allows one to recognise quietly that even though he or she is a wonderful person, there may be qualities that he or she lacks. An individual with a balanced ego is fully aware of his or her own existence and does not need others to confirm it." (F. Simpère, The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory, 2011)

Chance would be a fine thing to find a politician on Earth with a balanced ego. Ironically, democracy as we know it couldn't exist without them needing confirmation from others of their existence. We'll be doing a lot of that next Saturday.

Continue reading...

Humble appreciation

Posted by Philip on 8 November 2011, 7:04 am in , , ,

Yesterday I received recognition by the Orangi Kaupapa Trust, which "reward[s] those people whose work benefits the quality of life in New Zealand."

It was a complete surprise to me. The Chief Executive and one of the Trustees arrived with two colleagues of mine. Lesley Slade and Minnie Baragwanath, with whom I work to run Be. Leadership

I thought I'd forgotten the meeting had been arranged. Then slowly the plot was revealed: Lesley and Minnie had furtively orchestrated the award.

Continue reading...