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Viewing entries tagged with 'balance'

I am more

Posted by Philip on 23 April 2017, 1:22 pm in , , , , , ,

Life has phases, I think, which are seven years long. There are annoying awkward times in between each one. I’m in one of those now, I realise. It’s been quite long, too.

You know, like coming across food in the fridge and it's passed its 'best by' date. This version of myself has passed it's 'best by' date. But not yet expired.

guy looking into a fride wit a shocked look

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Confidence and humility – the dance of the balanced ego

Posted by Philip on 2 September 2016, 10:38 am in , , ,

Balancing confidence and humility in any relationship, be it personal or professional, is a real skill. The first step is to become aware of what the two are. Author of The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory, Françoise Simpère writes:

“Arrogance...is generally a cover for a chronic lack of self-confidence.To be specific, self-confidence is when one is aware of his or her qualities without falling victim to false modesty. Humility allows one to recognise quietly that even though he or she is a wonderful person, there may be qualities that he or she lacks. An individual with a balanced ego is fully aware of his or her own existence and does not need others to confirm it. He or she is interested in others because of who they are, and not because of a need to see him or herself as a reflection in their admiring eyes.”

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Laughter, anxiety and diversity

Posted by Philip on 3 March 2016, 10:55 am in , , , , , , ,

I wrote the other day about my own experience of anxiety and my thoughts that we have emerged into an age of anxiety. While I tried to keep it light, it's a dark topic.

It has occurred to me since that one of the most healing behaviours for me, both during my period of acute anxiety and now as I still experience low-level but chronic anxiety is my ability to laugh. Laughing in the face of fear and dis-ease is challenging, but it has an incredibly positive effect.

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Back to work, back to reality – or five ways to pretend you're still on holiday

Posted by Philip on 22 January 2016, 4:24 pm in , ,

This is such a bittersweet time of year. Summer has just, it seems, begun to bed in and my 4-5 week staycation finishes on Sunday.

Next week it's meetings, a trip to Wellington, planning with clients and following up on paused projects. And it's time for me to start my yearly challenge: to see how long I can feel like I'm not back at work.

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Four days into the year of balance

Posted by Philip on 4 January 2015, 11:42 am in , , , , , , , , ,

Venn diagram - freedom & security in overlapping circles, support in the overlapJust a quick reflection on the first days of the year, an affirmation of sorts. I notice I've taken on my reclusive role, usual for this time of year, not having left the house this year yet, other than to sit on the deck to read, drink, socialise, admire the beautiful nature-laden part of Auckland I am blessed to live in, and/or reflect.

It's been a stressless, easy ride into 2015. May it continue.

The only event of note was a slight over-indulgence of leadership juice on 1 January, ending with my falling on the floor. A few years ago I had upper and lower back injuries, leaving me without power in my upper arms/shoulders and no longer able to walk. Unable to lift myself from the floor anymore, particularly after a wine or two, I invested in a Bupa medical alarm half way through last year — it seemed less strenuous than weight training, at which I failed miserably to endure.

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To admire or not to admire

Posted by Philip on 10 December 2013, 3:29 pm in , , , , , , ,

Admiration is a funny thing. Full of questions, it seems to me.

  • Who to admire? What to admire?
  • Admire the person? Admire what they say or do? Both?
  • Oh, and is it ok to admire yourself?

What does admiration mean?

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Worthiness — the new entitlement

Posted by Philip on 27 May 2013, 7:24 pm in , , , , , ,

Last Saturday I was working with a group and the word entitlement was uttered a couple of times. As I've written before, I believe no one is entitled to anything. I think that a culture of entitlement is destructive and inhibits an environment of positive change.

The second time I heard the word, I raised it with the group: Entitlement is demanding, it's self-serving and it's disempowering. If you have a sense of entitlement, you are most likely to be left feeling let down, ripped off and disappointed.

Then someone else said this: "Perhaps we are confusing entitlement with worthiness."

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Embracing the balance

Posted by Philip on 20 April 2012, 6:43 am in , ,

Yesterday I was reminded yet again how much pressure is put on people to expect to feel 'up' all the time and that, if they feel 'down' for some reason, there's something wrong with them.

Someone I was talking to had had it suggested to them they see a doctor because they weren't feeling too good. Of course a doctor would have probably prescribed anti-depressants to "even out' their mood.

It seems to me that we live these days in a strangely anomalous world, which is most obvious when you watch TV. Advertisers try to sell us happiness, while the news tells us how bad everything is. Sitcoms and comedies try to make us laugh and crime series show us a side of human nature you could hardly imagine existed (and probably only did in the writers' minds until it ends up on TV).

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