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Posted by Philip on 7 November 2011, 7:02 am in , , , ,

Political policies I'd die for

I remember saying once at a political forum I addressed as a comedian, "If I ever get into politics, someone shoot me." I still stand by that directive.

But were I to lose all reason for some reason and start, say, the Diversity New Zealand Party, here are some policy ideas I'd like to rabidly bark out in true politician style, before I received a bullet to the temple:

Health policy

We are designed to get old and die. Get used to it. Medical science can do anything it likes to make us feel better given there are no monetary constraints, but it can't hurt us (see also Justice policy) or keep us alive just because we don't want to say goodbye. 

Economic policy

Economics is as much a social science as psychology and sociology. It will be treated as vaguely, rather than allowing it to masquerade as a business discipline (courtesy Marilyn Waring). Money is a community resource. No one individual can acquire a larger amount than is beneficial to the collective good (we'll work out the exact amount later, but for now let's say $1m and see what happens). Once we're all used to sharing money when we play, rather than trying to get the most, we'll introduce the idea that we don't actually need money so we'll get rid of it. We'll give bankers and stockbrokers something else to play with. See also Education policy, Zeitgeist Movement and Venus Project).

Justice policy

No one is allowed to force anyone else to do anything against the other's will. That's called bullying. Hurt people hurt people. We will stop hurting people so they stop hurting us. No more need for prisons. Drugs are sugar for adults. If you take too much you spin out, do silly things, get violent if you're angry or cry if you're sad. See also Education and Social policies.

Education policy

We will teach children how to think, be creative, share, make mistakes and learn from them, be wrong and get over it, talk about it, have a laugh and start again. Oh of course, that's what kids do naturally, so we'll just stop punishing them for it after they turn 13.

Environmental policy

The planet is bigger, more powerful, more beautiful and more resilient than us. It doesn't give a shit and it'll get us back. Respect that. See also Social policy.

Diversity policy

We're all unique and common. Don't think, say or do anything that assumes anything else. See also Social policy.

Technology policy

Computers make better decisions than politicians. Let them.

Social policy

Don't be a dick (courtesy Russell Brown and Sam Morgan).